Once Upon The Avengers !
by petitehero
Summary: A collection of loosely connected one shots that portray the daily life of the Avengers plus Loki , from grocery runs to doctor visits to funerals. Heart-tickly, silly stuff will abound as well as wizard angst.
1. Best Served Cold

**A/N Okeydoke. First off. Hey there everyone C: You're grand. Thanks for reading. This idea has been floating about in my brain for awhile, and I thought, hey, why not finally sitting down and writing it at 1:30 in the morning? Haha, so this is the product of my sleep deprivation. I'll be adding a variety of delightful adventures full of feels and happiness and Avenger angsts.**

**Please enjoy this snippet of our favourite resident Asgardians C:**

Thor held the door open, somehow maintaining dignity as he bounced on his heels like a child who'd opened all his presents and found one more hiding behind the tree.

"Have haste, brother." He urged Loki.

Loki just gave him a sullen stare. By the time they were all the way in the shop, people had begun clearing a path for them. Those milling about moved to the tables and chairs, giving Thor and his brother a wide berth. They looked at them in awe, curiosity. Those who remembered the Chitauri invasion looked at them with fear.

The customers already in line looked conflicted, clearly deciding whether to stand their ground or give way to the Avenger and his charge. One mother made a movement to remove herself and her toddler from the line, tugging on the little boy at their joined hands. The little boy tugged back, his face drawn in obstinacy.

"You promised." He whined articulately.

The mother unwillingly stayed in line, eyeing Thor and Loki alternatingly with distrust and disapproval.

Thor, however, was completely obliviously to the divided, tense atmosphere of the room. He was caught up in cloud nine, pleased to have the day with his brother. He didn't have to try too hard to look past the Asgardian cuffs that bound his brother's hands together. All that mattered was that they were on an adventure, just like the days before they grew up into men who stood on the complete opposite ends of the universe' axis.

"I cannot imagine what you and Father aspire to accomplish from this." Loki said bitterly. Though enough time had passed since Loki's power conquest in Midgard that the world had started to forget, things were not so lenient at home.

Thor had pled Loki's case to their father, fervently defending the good he believed lay within Loki's stormy heart. He spoke of these things to his father, the confusion and exclusion his brother felt in realization of his true heritage. Odin was hardly moved to welcome his adopted son with wide arms and a place among his finest men, but a father's love was proven to prevail against even the worst actions of his child.

So he allowed Thor to take him to Midgard for rehabilitation. The idea was that if Loki could be shown the true heart of the human race, the intelligence and potential, that his own heart would grow less heavy and cluttered. He might come to realize he had a place in Asgard fitted and promised to him all along.

He might be saved.

"You will see, Loki. I am about to…what does Tony say? 'Blow your mind.' Without actually using live explosives." He said hurriedly, assuring Loki as if he might actually think his brother was going come at him with live ammunition.

"Excuse me, sir, are you ready to order?"

Thor looked up, slightly surprised they had already reached the front of the line.

"What would you enjoy, Loki?"

"I would not enjoy any of it, Thor. What would you have me have?"

"Do not be so averse to new experiences, brother. They are the pleasure of Midgardian life."

Loki sighed and turned to examine the cold, glass display case. The contents of each container looked foreign to him. They had nothing like this in Asgard. Not feeling particularly charitable or adventurous, Loki selected the one that seemed least overwhelming.

He raised his cuffed hands in an elegant, sulky gesture towards his choice.

"That flavor is called vanilla." Thor informed him. "It is a tradition to tell the distributors of this delicacy how much you appreciate each flavor, so they can allot a certain amount of it to your preference."

Loki glanced at the size menu.

"I…_like _it." He said through gritted teeth.

"And I love chocolate." Thor grinned expansively at the woman.

The young woman behind the counter served them hurriedly.

Thor led the way outside, happily licking away at his own cone. Loki held his own gingerly, staring at it with apathetic disdain.

"I'm sure you've noted, that despite the store's deceptive name, it does not actually produce cold stones. This," Thor thrust his cone into the air like he was brandishing Mjolnir,"is called ice cream. It is ambrosia scaled down for the palette's of mortals. It is cold and extremely pleasing."

Loki gave his a doubtful look. They kept walking on in silence for a while as Thor ate away at his cone, contented, and Loki brooded.

"You must eat soon, Loki, or else it will melt away and the opportunity will be lost until our next visit."

"If it will cease your badgering." Loki took a tentative lick of his ice cream. The cold wasn't a shock to him sense he'd been warned, but it combined with the unexpected buttery sweetness surprised him. It certainly wasn't anything like he'd encountered before.

"Does it please you, brother?" Thor asked, eyes bright with the thought of a shiny new human experience for his brother.

"It is nothing like the ambrosia you spoke of." Loki said, expressionless.

Thor's face fell briefly, but within a second it was clear and optimistic again. "No troubles. If anything in this world, ice cream will 'grow on you.'" Thor paused. "In a metaphorical sense, Loki."

Loki continued to eat his ice cream as they walked. He had lied to his brother. That in itself didn't bother him; Loki was the patron of lies, the artist of misdirection. What bothered him was the injustice he'd done to the ice cream. In fact, it pleased him very much. It was icy and misleading every inch as was he.

He had been wrong about the humans. They were destined for more than servitude.

They were made for _ice cream _and servitude.

Loki kept watch on his brother as they walked along. When he was certain Thor was entirely concerned with his own ice cream, Loki smiled.

A cold, sweet little smile.


	2. Avenger's First Halloween

**A/N First: Thank you for the follows and reviews ! Your interest and support mean a lot to me C: **

**Okay, I'll be the first to admit this is full of fluff and wish fulfillment xD . Bear with me. I tried my best with the costumes. I'm omitting any possibility of a DC crossover with this one, but that's not true for all my future stories. **

**Also, Lane is my OC. Her original story is 'Clockwork Hearts'. Seven chapters, still in progress C: . **

**Feed the review narwhal~? **

All the girls were holed up in Lane's room, vying for mirror space and putting the finishing touches on their make-up.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Natasha said, shaking her head. If she was being completely honest, she was as excited for the evening just as much as she thought it was ridiculous.

"Me neither. I thought it would be like pulling teeth to get the guys to agree." Pepper said, adjusting her collar.

"It's kind of silly, but it's fun, too, y'know?" Jane said, pulling on one of her curls. "I think it'll be a good experience for the boys. Thor, especially. He's so fascinated by all these 'Midgardian traditions'. I feel like I'm living things for the first time with him."

"It's that sense of wonder." Lane agreed. "I still get that whenever Steve figures out new technology or books. He discovered fanfiction the other day, and he couldn't believe half the things people came up with about him. It's like he doesn't realize he's been a poster boy for the past six decades."

"Tony, on the other hand." Pepper began. "Is eating it all up. He actually suggested to me that he wanted to go as An Incredibly Attractive, Popular, and Rich Man. And then he paused and said 'oh wait, we're supposed to go as something we _aren't, _right'?" She shook her head.

"Clint didn't know what to do with himself." Natasha put in. She didn't either. Both of them had been spies so long, dressing up as someone else seemed like more of a job than play. Jane had suggested thinking of it like playing dress-up, so it would feel more like fun than work. Surprisingly, the whole thing was a lot more involved than Natasha thought. She'd never dressed up for the holiday as a child, so it took a lot of thought as to what she would be. She wasn't used to having so much choice.

What would she be if she could be anything?

There was a knock on the door.

"You ladies ready?" Tony's voice came through the wood.

"We're still getting dressed! We'll meet you in the lobby. It won't be long."

"Well, hurry up! We don't want to take so long, the people at the house lose all their scare. They're going to need it if they have any chance at all of leaving an impression on me."

Lane rolled her eyes. "That man. I hope he's the first one crying. It would serve him well." Lane loved Tony, but sometimes he just needed to be knocked down a peg. Or else he would think he was some kind of superhero or something.

"Don't worry. He's terrified of clowns."

"Who isn't?" Lane asked.

"You know what? I was actually okay with clowns. They always seemed so misunderstood." Jane said. "It was the cotton candy man that got me."

"Cotton candy man?"

"Yes. He smiled too much. I mean, clowns, they're kind of forced into it. It's kind of sad, really. But anybody whose sole job _isn't _smiling, shouldn't be so happy. It's creepy."

"Jane, you're just kinda like a sun child that took a wrong turn, aren't you?" Lane shook her head affectionately. "Okay, girls. Ready to roll out?"

They all took a step back for one last glance in the mirror and checked each other out. They all had chosen their outfits carefully. Some of it was subconscious, but it reflected something they wanted.

Natasha had settled on Little Red Riding Hood. It was fairly basic, but since she hadn't had a simple childhood in the first place, she thought it was a good place to start. And it wasn't an "adult" Little Red, either. She put in a lot of effort to capture the innocence of the original Little Red. The effort was necessary, since Natasha naturally had a slinky, elegant allure that made even the modest costume seem mature. Jane had helped her by sewing in puffy sleeves and extra ruffles on the bottom of the outfit's broad crimson skirt while Lane came up with make-up that made her eyes look wide and her lips peachy. Overall, she managed to look young and bright.

Jane had decided to dress up as Disney's take on Jane. She wore a cute yellow dress with a collar and her hair pinned up. The matching gloves looked absolutely precious, and all the women agreed that despite the complete impossibility of it, the character was based on Jane herself. She blushed at that, and tried to hide how much that meant to her. It wasn't exactly her Cinderella moment, but after being in a lab all day, she just felt…beautiful.

Pepper, once again, was a foil to Tony. She dressed up as Watson. It was a cute, female interpretation of the doctor, with a cropped tweed jacket and skirt that came to just above her knees. It was classic and classy. Pepper smiled to herself. Tony had had to beg to be Sherlock. She promised not to tell the boys about it, but she crossed her fingers when it came to the girls. She needed a few stories to tell at their ladies' solidarity coffee and liquor meetings, and ones at Tony's expense were very popular. She didn't mind the dynamic between their outfits. Everyone knew while Tony was a natural disaster, someone with unquestionable pull and momentum, Pepper was a force of nature herself, like the Big Bang.

Lane had enough action and angst in her life that she wanted to go low-key this year. She'd always been an old soul, and she wanted to go as something she could share with Steve. She was afraid he'd be offended when she asked him to do a couple-y outfit with her, especially since he would have to dress up as a serviceman from his own time, especially one that wasn't even in his branch. She didn't want him to think she was making light of the moment they were masquerading as. But he was remarkably cool about it. His reservations were due more to bashfulness than anything else. She straightened her shift dress, her nurse's cap. Bashfulness, she could work with.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Down in the lobby, the boys were lounging about. Thor was the first to notice the girls. Or more specifically, he noticed Jane. He strode forward, wrapping her in a big hug that made her blush. Possibly since he was nearly bare-chested in front of all their friends.

Since this was his first experience with the holiday, he was excited to dress up as nearly anything—he kept changing his mind days before the actual occasion. His friends had had to counsel him away from many of his choices, including a policeman, a centaur, and a tree. For a time his heart was set on being a mermaid, since Tony mischievously informed him that the aim of the event was to dress up as something entirely different from what you normally are. Thor pined over the thought endlessly before deciding on a merman, since Tony helpfully said he had the hair for it.

Tony received a lot of tough love from Pepper, Jane, and Lane over that.

Natasha just punched him.

The rest of the guys had enough bedtime stories and personal experience with the holiday themselves. The problem with them was motivation. They all felt to some degree like big kids being dressed up for a picture, like the family cat being stuffed into a sweater. It was uncomfortable. The girls thought that since they had to dress up for work every day, it shouldn't be too much of a stretch, but the boys informed them otherwise with abandon.

Still, they were all willing to make the sacrifice. With a lot of grumbling.

"You look radiant, Jane." Thor said sweetly as he pulled himself away to look at her. He had ended up being the Tarzan to her Jane, and they were just too darn cute. Thor of course would probably be less than impressed with the parallel between him and the man of the jungle, but what he didn't know couldn't bother him.

Natasha fell in step beside Clint, who was unsurprisingly costumed as Robin Hood. She thought he looked extremely dapper and he thought she looked incredibly beautiful, and they whispered it with their eyes.

Pepper took Tony's outstretched hand and stood beside him so the full effect of their Sherlock / Watson ensemble could be felt.

"I thought I'd try oldschool classy out." He explained when Lane raised an eyebrow in his direction. "You're a nurse? I expected something more out of the box than that from you."

"It is out of the box." Steve came to her defense, pulling her into his arms boldly despite his qualms about the costumes and his usual restraint from a lot of ardent displays of public affection. "We go together."

"Well, what are you? A war nurse and her patient?"

"Close." Lane pulled Steve down in an abrupt kiss, kicking her leg back. He obliged, though his face was distinctly rouge when they came up.

"Ohhh, I see." Tony said. "The VJ Day Kiss. Cute. Very….you two. I thought Steve hadn't dressed up yet. I'm so used to seeing him waltz around looking all 'America the Beautiful'."

Steve gave him a disgruntled look and was about to say something when Lane rushed over to Bruce.

"Who are you?" She asked brightly. "You're gorgeous, B."

He smiled demurely. He was dressed up in a classic tux with a bowtie and name tag.

"'Wayne'." Lane read, looking between the tag and Bruce's face.

"I'm Bruce Wayne." He said, a little sheepishly. "It felt kind of clever."

"You're great." Lane said, hugging him. "Very clever."

They spent a few more minutes commenting on each other other's costumes before they set out for the night. They headed to a fairground that was repurposed as a Haunted House for the down season. When they finally got to the front of the line, they realized that they could only go in as groups of up to four. After discussing it, they eventually decided to tagteam Clint and Natasha with Jane and Thor and Steve and Lane with Tony and Pepper.

"We'll sneak you in." Lane promised Bruce, who was awkwardly aware that he was the odd one out.

"No, no. It's fine. I can go by myself. I'm a big boy."

"Don't be silly." Lane shook her head. They passed their tickets to the guy managing the entrance.

"Only four at a time." The man said as Lane tried to pull Bruce along with her through the curtain.

"Okay." She said obligingly, letting go of Bruce's hand. "We'll wait for you in the first room." She whispered.

Lane grabbed onto Steve's hand and followed Tony and Pepper into the dark. The entrance was lit with neon lights and mist filtered in from the ceiling. There was a welcome sign painted in "blood" and an arrow that pointed straight ahead to the "Doll Factory."

"Dolls." Steve said. "I don't understand the pop cultural fixation with creepy dolls."

"It's because every scary movie producer in the universe knows that there's an irrational little child in everyone that will never grow old or less afraid." Pepper said.

"Oh, this is nothing." Tony said. "Literally child's play."

'He cried during the doll episode of Doctor Who', Pepper mouthed behind his back.

Lane grinned. They waited until Bruce caught up with them and entered the 'Factory'.

Inside, there were distorted pink lights and rows of dilapidated machinery. Several beaten down, life size doll boxes littered the floor and lined the walls. There was a stack centered in the room, with splatters of "blood" ringed around it.

"Well this looks like fun." Bruce said nonchalantly as they made their way in. He wasn't really bothered by the idea of creatures in the dark. He knew it was all a trick of lighting and timing and stage prosthetics and besides, he lived with his own personal monster locked up in his own heart and body. As a man of science, both professionally and physically, this was about as scary as a basket full of baby deer wearing bowties.

"I bet there are people in those boxes." Tony said. He usually prided himself on being a man of action and bravery, overconfidence and cheek, but that was reserved for greedy company heads and aliens. He told himself it was because all that courage was wasted on the occult, since it wasn't a real threat, but honestly he just didn't have the courage to spare. There was something fearful about things you can't touch and see.

"Shhh." Pepper pushed on his arm gently. "Of course there are. Don't say it, it ruins the suspense." She had grown up in a circle of mostly guy friends who loved to watch zombie movies and stage pranks, so she wasn't overly concerned with the thrills and gore sure to come.

Lane kept a tight hold on Steve's hand. She'd seen enough creepy, disturbing things on the job. She was always up for a thrill, but she liked to face it with a knife or at least her projections, but unfortunately neither was socially acceptable to use at a Haunted House.

The minute they were all completely in the room, eerie music began to play, the kind with lots of piano and violin and distorted giggling from little girls.

"That's just wrong." Tony said. "That is not even one little bit okay. That's like embedding a screamo song on an episode of Sesame Street."

Unsurprisingly, Tony was the first to jump when the 'undead dolls' teetered out of the boxes and twitched against the plastic.

"I do not understand. Does he wish to inspire fear by wearing a plastic façade and growling in my face?" Thor asked as the 'mutilated doctor' waved his scalpels at him.

Jane, who had been the initial target when the man had jumped out, was speechless from screaming.

"Yes, Thor." Clint said.

"Now please humour the man and act afraid." Natasha added.

"Ah." Thor turned back to the man screeching in his face. He stuck out a hand. "Thank you, sir. Your efforts have been noted verily and I assure you my adrenaline levels have increased due to our horrific encounter."

The man's face contorted in a way entirely independent of his gruesome make-up. He limped off as they passed him, probably hoping for an easy scare next time to redeem himself.

"I cannot believe you tried to shake hands with him." Jane shook her head, gripping Thor's hand so tightly her knuckles were a flash of moonlight in the dark hallway.

"That is a common sign of appreciation and camaraderie." Thor said indignantly. "I felt a…round…of applause would be inappropriate in this setting."

Their pseudo-squabble was interrupted when a 'dismembered' circus performer flailed all over Natasha and she clung to Clint's arm. He smirked down at her smugly.

"This did not happen." She hissed. She straightened up and smoothed her hair down.

"We can negotiate this later." Clint said warmly.

The House consisted of five rooms in all: the Doll Factory, the Slash-ER, the Deserted Circus, Davy Jone's Locker, and the Grimm Forest.

The Forest was rather well done, Clint thought. If he'd really wanted, he could have slipped up a tree and fit right in, waiting to ambush his friends at an opportune moment. However, he figured the satisfaction from that would not be worth Natasha's wrath—because hell hath no fury like a Widow scorned. On the other hand, if he limited the damage to, say, Tony, he could have his cake and eat it, too.

"Why are you copying me, miss?" A bloodied Little Red Riding Hood asked Natasha in a low, whispery voice. She was holding a dripping 'wolf's' head and hiding under the trees. "Are you mocking me?"

"Well, I'm older than you." Natasha said, being a sport. "So aren't _you _copying _me_?"

The 'little' girl—you had to be at least seventeen to work in the House—hissed raspily. A growl came from around the woods and Jane burrowed into Thor, hating being so pathetically creeped out by everything but so not into meeting any torn up creatures of the woods.

They ventured on.

"This is great." Clint said, smiling at the 'dirt road' they walked on. "They did really well with the trees."

There was a noise from behind—a rabid roar—and Jane's scream. Clint and Natasha spun around.

"Thor, please put that nice ax murderer lumberjack down."

"My favourite part was the ER." Pepper said. "I really appreciated the plot twist where there was that clown getting surgery."

They all kind of glanced towards Tony, whose face was still regaining colour.

"What was your favourite part?" Lane asked mercilessly, nudging him on the shoulder.

"Oh, you know. It was all pretty lax, but I thought it was cute how they tried to feed Bruce to the Kraken."

"How did that go?" Natasha asked with raised brows.

"It tickled." Bruce said seriously.

The first group got a kick out of Jane's retelling of Thor's reactions to the House workers.

"—and then he just set him down, clapped him on the back, and told him 'you are an exemplary incarnation of fear'."

"It was a most generous compliment." Thor said. "Do you think he could tell I was unfazed? I tried very hard to look anxious."

"You should have seen these two." Tony gestured to Lane and Steve. "One of the zombie nurses asked why Lane wasn't at her station and she just said 'I'm off duty, we just won a war' and did the whole demonstration."

"I've never been applauded by a zombie before." Steve said, straight-faced.

"You're welcome." Lane smiled shamelessly.

They all went together to grab caramel apples then headed back to headquarters. They settled down in the living room, nestled close together to watch a stream of horror movies until an ungodly hour.

Jane didn't know the exact moment Thor had simply become her personal shield and on-hand hug servant throughout the night, but she knew the one when she glanced up at him and his face was shining with delight at all the cheesy special effects.

"Is it like you thought it would be?" She asked after a particularly soprano screech during the film.

He could barely take his eyes off the screen.

"Better." He said, securing her hand as he proceeded to instruct the female protagonist on how to survive.

"I could make a better movie than this." Tony said indignantly. "And it would involve shuriken, candy corn, and a crossdressing jewelry thief."

The protagonist was confronted by the Big Scary Thing.

"My money's on the rancher and the premature burial." Pepper said absently.

Tony tweaked his mustache, leaning forward to kiss her playfully on the nose. "Elementary, my dear."

"You've been sitting on that one the whole night, haven't you?"

"Shamelessly."

Lane simultaneously leaned on Bruce's shoulder and held Steve's hand.

"Thanks for being a good sport today." She whispered to Steve. "I owe you one."

"It could have been worse." He said. He didn't know how exactly, but he was sure it could have been. And he did appreciate the effort she put into finding something to do together, especially the effort to make it something he could be relatively comfortable with. As opposed, say, to a merman.

Natasha and Clint just sat silently, knees touching. Natasha really didn't care much one way or the other about what they watched, since she knew there were only about seven different horror movie plots and endless variations on those.

Clint was waiting for "The Birds".

Days later, Tony would find the doll Clint had stashed in his closet.

But only hours later, Fury would walk in on them all slumped over on each other, asleep.

He shook his head and took a sip of pumpkin liquor.

"Happy Halloween, kids."


	3. Eggos and Blueberries

**A/N: I own nothing and no one, except this writing and Lane c: Lo siento, I'll be the first to admit this one's a little derpy xD Bear with me. I'm planning some wild adventures and wizard angst in the near future.**

**Thank you for the support, you're glamorous ~! :DD**

There was a knock on the door. Lane grumbled and nudged Steve with her head.

"That's for you."

"I don't want to get it…" He complained, voice still grumbly and soft from sleep.

"But I'm apathetic." Her internal clock said it was before seven a.m. and she refused to get out of bed on principle. "Besides, I'm in Autobot pajamas. If that's Tony, I'm never going to hear the end of it. Then I'll have to eventually beat him up so he shuts up about it, and then there's this whole cycle of violence and Tylenol you could have prevented."

Steve made a reluctant, grumpy sound and got out of bed. The door made a sharp click as he opened it.

"What is it?" He asked less than amiably.

"Good morning to you, too, you star spangled beauty." Tony said, relentlessly cheery. "Is GLaDOS up yet?"

Lane propped herself up on her elbow, turning to face the boys. She frowned at the nickname. Of all the horrible ones he'd come up with the first few weeks they'd known each other, that was pretty much tops.

"What do you want, Tony? You're entirely too happy this early in the morning." She loved Tony. Just notably less at six in the morning.

"Well, it's a wonderful day in the neighborhood, Lane. And you know what is just a blast and a half to do on wonderful days like these?"

"No. I really, really don't. I will not until at least two more hours of sleep."

"_Grocery shopping. _I mean, who just doesn't love…? Okay, here's the deal: it's your turn to get the groceries, princess. And I'd like to have my Eggos and blueberries before noon. So. Pretty please get your radiant self out of bed? I rounded everyone else up already. They're downstairs putting a list together." He paused. "Does it count for anything that I got you last? Everybody else got up two hours ago."

"…You did _not _wake everybody up at five a.m. just so you could get toaster waffles."

"No! So Clint can have his coffee, and Natasha can have her little blini things and—oh, just read the list! It's a whole big thing of validation."

Lane turned and just buried her face in her pillow, muffling a scream. Then in one solid motion, she flung herself out of bed—she needed the momentum or else she was going to think 'screw it' and fall right back to sleep—and met Tony and Steve at the door.

"I really hope Thor welcomed you with a faceful of Mjolnir for waking him up at this ungodly hour."

"Ahhh, I see what you did there—get it, 'cause he thinks he's a—"

"Don't." Lane said grumpily. "And do not comment on the pajamas."

Tony held his hands up defensively. "Oh, no. No, sir, Optimus Prime."

Lane shot him a scathing look. "I will be downstairs in fifteen minutes. I suggest you start thinking about buying me a galaxy or something if you want to live to eat your waffles."

She turned and gave Steve a quick kiss.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked, blearily from sleep.

"No. You go back to bed. I'll enlist someone downstairs who's already more than half awake."

When Lane was finished dressing and made her appearance in the kitchen, she was met with a handful of scrawled shopping lists and the rest of her team. She perused the lists as they talked over tea and milk.

"Thor."

"Yes, Lane?"

"Your list is made up of candy and Poptarts."

"Yes?"

"You don't see an issue with that? You do realize that the fruit filling in a Poptart doesn't count as actual nutrition, right?" She was hardly being a mother hen. She was pretty sure any sane adult would be a little concerned when all a guy wanted was taffy and ice cream. The most redeemable item on the list was watermelon, and even that was added on more as an afterthought.

"I will not become unfit, if that is what you fear. I have the metabolism of an Asgardian." Thor said proudly, preening.

"Just don't choke on a Poprock." Lane shook her head. She said it with fond reproval.

"I am certain that is improbable, given the rate at which the confection dissolves." Thor said seriously. He knew from experience. Jellybeans, on the other hand…It was not an err in judgment he wished to repeat.

"So, which one of you is going to be my hero and bite the bullet with me?" Lane asked, looking around at her teammates.

"I cannot." Thor said apologetically. "Though I would have enjoyed it verily. I must meet with my father soon. I am entertaining another rehabilitation visit with Loki today."

Lane nodded. The team had been very divided on the subject when Thor had first presented it, but Fury went along with it—none too enthusiastically—and they really had no say one way or the other. Half of them wanted Thor to be happy and take any chance he had at resolving the uncertainty and spite between him and Loki. Half of them would just as soon sleep better knowing Loki was secure somewhere far away in the universe.

"I can't." Natasha said. "I've got a flight soon for a quick job out in Estonia."

"Running an archery clinic." Clint said.

"I just don't want to go." Tony said. Everyone rolled their eyes.

Bruce was quiet.

Target acquired.

"Does this say Thor wants twenty-one boxes of strawberry poptarts?"

"No, silly."

There was a sigh of relief.

"That clearly is a seven after the two."

"Bruce, could you hand me some pads?"

"…Bruce? You okay?...I don't think they like it when you leave your jaw all over the floor."

"Let's be vindictive and get Tony the mini-waffles."

"What could Tony possibly do with that much lighter fluid?"

"Bruce, what do you need all that for?"

"For reasons. Science reasons."

"Here, Lane. Pepper likes these."

"Ooh! They're in the shape of dinosaurs!"

"Oh, look! These popsicles are all red, white, and blue. Let's get some for Steve."

"Thank the lord. Clint's list is only three items long."

"Pffft!"

"Why are you laughing Lane?"

"You're standing next to the Green Giant."

"This is it?" Bruce asked.

"Yupp. Everything on the list."

They stood back, observing the four carts filled to the brim.

The cashiers looked mortified.

"I'm never sending you shopping again. And I'm returning the galaxy." Tony said gruffly as he aggressively bit into one of the baby waffles.

It was a wonderful day in the neighborhood.


	4. Asymmetrical Hearts

**A/N /flails about incessantly. So I've been working on this for the past couple of weeks, between camp and other obligations. I wish it doesn't disappoint. As always, it's a wee bit derpy. I suppose that's to be expected, since I'm a wee bit derpy. Alas. And thank you for all your support ~! **

**I own nothing but Lane and some backstory. **

**Featuring: a guest appearance from one of our favourite moody Asgardians !**

**And now…the fruits of my inherent derpiness ! :D **

Natasha woke up that morning feeling sick. At first she was confused. All her latest jobs were relatively tame surveillance and information extraction trysts in southern Europe. And she was completely wound-free, which in itself was a rare condition for her. She wasn't feverish. She had all her shots. She wasn't hungover—she'd bowed out of the boys' Asgardian drinking game last night.

Then she looked at the numbers glowing bright red on her alarm clock and saw the date.

February fourteenth.

And Clint was away on a mission.

She was heartsick.

And that was one of the few things the master assassin didn't know what to do about.

Lane and Pepper were busy in the kitchen when Natasha dragged herself out of bed and headed downstairs. She was lured by their singing and the smell of butter and flour. Pepper was clearly a morning person. Lane hadn't wanted to get out of bed until the rapture, but what they were doing was important enough her to put forth the extra effort of waking up before the sun.

"What are you doing?" Natasha asked, ambling over to the coffee pot.

"We." Lane said proudly, brandishing a frying pan. "Are making awesome."

Inside the pan was a wet blob of dough, clearly in the shape of a heart.

"Heart pancakes?" Natasha asked. She stared at the bubbling thing with a slight frown. "For who?"

"Everyone." Pepper said. "We thought it would be a cute idea to start the morning. I know some of the guys don't put too much stock into the holiday, but it's just a little something to say we care, you know?"

"Do you?"

"Care?"

"Put stock into the holiday." Natasha tore her gaze from the pancakes. The smell of batter was now churning around in the pit of her stomach in an entirely unpleasant way.

"To a point. Do I think it's a sneaky corporate ploy for commercial gain? No. But I don't think it's a day for expressions of undying love or anything. I guess its worth depends on who you're with and what you have together."

"Wise words, Pepper." Lane seconded. "I'm into it for the three c's."

"Three c's?"

"Classic movies, candy, and champagne. I don't need a special day to tell whoever I love that I love them, you know? But it's nice to have one that you can spend time with them doing things you both like. It doesn't mean _more _than all the other days together, but it just kind of inherently highlights them. It's that feeling of nostalgia. Like paper valentines in grade school." Lane paused, taking a breath. She flipped the pancake before the side it was on got too golden. "What about you, Natasha?"

"Um. I don't know." She said honestly. She'd never really put too much thought into it. In fact, she'd never really experienced a "real" Valentine's Day in the first place, not until she'd joined the Avengers. "Until I joined the team, the first Valentine's experience I had was tricking a man into thinking I loved him so I could infiltrate and break his international arms ring. I still have the flowers pressed from dinner somewhere." She confessed, her cheeks warm with rouge.

"Oh." Lane said thoughtfully. She felt a bit sad for Natasha. Not in a pitying way. She respected Natasha too much for that. Lane just regretted her first experience had to be on the job, something she couldn't control or enjoy. To smile at a strange man over wine while planning to take his business down? Hardly a romantic getaway.

"Yeah. Last year was…nice…though." Natasha's blush deepened as she thought about her first official Valentine's Day with Clint. The thing about him was he knew exactly where to take her. Instead of taking her to some fancy restaurant—which was all she ever got night in and night out when she was on the clock—he took her skating. She'd been reluctant at first. It was one of those things she just simply hadn't done, and it seemed frivolous. But with him it felt like she was getting a taste of the life she'd never been able to have.

Normal. Safe. Loved.

Her stomach did another churning type thing, and this time it wasn't because of the pancakes. It was the feeling of missing Clint. She narrowed her eyes at herself. She wasn't used to feeling so soft and girly.

"You miss him, don't you?" Pepper hit the target. "He's off on some top secret escapade, isn't he?"

"Until Sunday." Natasha deflected.

"How are you holding up?" Lane asked, leaning on the countertop as she poured in a new round of batter. "Come on. Spill, Big Red. We've been there before when Steve and Tony are AWOL." She added when Natasha was silent.

"…It's weird." Natasha finally gave in. "I'm used to him being away on business. And I don't even really care about the holiday at all, honestly." _Not until I met Clint, _she amended in her head. "I don't like missing him. I feel…needy. Weak."

"Weak in the knees, maybe." Lane said. "But nothing else. It's not something to despair about, girl. Haven't you ever watched any movie ever? Love prevails."

"Titanic." Natasha said, deadpan.

"Well, their hearts went on." Lane said. "Now, here. You finish cooking this pancake while Pepper and I make the caramel."

Both of the "iron chefs" of the Avengers' kitchen saw a distinct difference in Natasha as the morning pancake marathon went on. With every stack finished, her shoulders lost tension. And with Thor and Steve and Bruce and Tony all rolled up into one big appetite, that was a lot of stacks.

The girls joked and told stories about 'the office'—which Pepper used literally and Lane and Natasha used humourously given their profession. They had a break for a flour fight after Pepper said they needed to figure out what to do with the excess. With the extra batter, they made tiny, lumpy turtle pancakes. Not one of them was especially gifted in the cooking department, so they called them 'turtles' generously.

The early morning bled away quickly until the first steps of the rising Avenger men could be heard coming down the hall.

"What is this?" Thor asked as he yawned his way into the room.

"Breakfast." Natasha said.

"Pancakes? In the shape of…?" Thor asked, looking at the stacks in confusion.

"Hearts, Thor. They're shaped like hearts." Lane said. "Look, I know we're hardly worthy of Emeril's kitchen, but I think they're at least recognizable."

"Do not be offended, Lane. It is just…this is not the shape of a heart. Hearts are not…symmetrical." He paused, then made a lot of wibbly wobbly shapes in the air with his finger. "They are rather lumpy and full of valves and such."

"You've never seen the way people draw casual hearts have you, Thor?" Pepper asked. "They're not supposed to be anatomically correct. If you tried to give someone an anatomically correct picture of a heart on Valentine's Day—or actually, any other—it'd be—"

"Totally cool." Tony said as he walked into the kitchen. "I did that for a girl in my advanced placement biology class in high school, and she thought it was hot."

"Stop attracting creepy women." Lane said. "Pepper being the exception, of course."

"'Valentine's Day'?" Thor asked. "What is this?"

"You've never heard of Valentine's Day?"

"No."

"Well." Lane began. "There's a lot of conflict on the historical grounds of the day, but basically it's devolved into a day where people give each other tokens of their love for one another—usually between grade school kids, high school crushes, couples, and such. It involves a lot of chocolate, wine, movies, dates—"

"Paper cards." Pepper chimed in.

"And sex." Finished Tony. Pepper flashed him a disparaging look.

"So it is an occasion for courting?" Thor asked.

"Yes." Natasha said. "It's for people in relationships, and people trying to get into relationships."

"And friends." Lane added. "But that's usually reserved for the paper hearts in school."

"Is this a custom expected to be followed by the general populace?" Thor asked, starting to look concerned. "Should I do something for Jane?"

"Definitely. Definitely do something for Jane." Tony advised. "You'd probably get some slack since you're technically an alien and all, but the rest of us men are at the mercy of our women if we don't do something for them."

"Hey." Pepper protested. "First off, not all women are into that sort of thing. Second off, you don't have to make it sound so much like a prison sentence."

"Besides, you're at the mercy of your women no matter what you do." Lane said.

"True." Tony tipped his head in acknowledgement. "Anyways, Pepper, you know I say it…lovingly." He drew out the word, fluttering his eyelashes a bit—sarcastically, the only way he knew how—and making a heart with his hands in her direction. He knew as much as she did that no matter how flippant and pompous he acted, Tony truly adored Pepper. It was hard to put into words, so he tried to make every action count. Even the obnoxious ones.

"I will start work immediately." Thor said with conviction. He grabbed a plate of pancakes—at least four stacks tall—and made his way out of the room. "Thank you for your whimsically fashioned pancakes. And…happy Valentine's Day!" He called out as he left.

Steve and Bruce came in a few minutes later.

"What's all this?" Steve asked, making his way to the island the team was gathered around.

"Valentine's Day breakfast. Because we're adorable." Lane said, kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm impressed that you got up early for this."

"Me, too."

They all filled up with pancakes, syrup, and milk. In between all the chatting, they thought about what they were going to do with their day. Lane wasn't too concerned. She had to admit she expected some sort of something out of Steve, just because of his nature. She wasn't expecting anything extravagant. All she wanted was to have a couple hours to themselves to sit together and do something; play Scrabble for all she cared. Pepper knew exactly what to expect from Tony, so she didn't waste too many thoughts on it. He'd already hinted at taking her home for the evening, and they would do dinner.

Natasha didn't even want to think about it.

Of course she was going to carry on with her life. It was one day out of the year; one that meant nothing to her anyways without Clint to make it more than a glorified greeting card explosion. But that was just it, too. Without Clint, her day was just any other day, while everyone else's was something special.

Since when had she become such a pansy?

The boys, however, were more concerned with the holiday then the girls realized. Tony had the odd personality flaw of having a devil-may-care attitude but really valuing other peoples' opinions of him. Pepper was the epitome of that side of him. He wanted things to be perfect for her today. The trick was pulling that off without showing how much it mattered to him. Steve wasn't so involved in that way; he knew Lane would be happy with whatever he did. That was a problem in itself. Since she was so easy to please, he had trouble finding what really made her happiest.

Bruce didn't even want to think about it.

He had learned to be on his own, and he liked his company just fine. But this kind of holiday—well, before the team, _any _kind of holiday—Christmas, Thanksgiving…it had all made him realize just how alone he was. Now that he had the team, he was a lot better. Now he didn't feel a gaping Hulk-sized hole where his family should have been. Now he just felt a Hulk-sized hole where some kind of love should have been. He wasn't rushing things, especially since the outcome of his last relationship, but it still felt less than fantastic to be painfully aware of how everyone on the team had someone close like that but him.

When breakfast was over, they all dispersed.

At around noon, Thor called Lane into his room.

"What's up, Thor?" She asked, leaning on the doorframe.

His eyes were bright with excitement. "I want your opinion on what I have forged for Jane."

"Ookay. Hit me with your best shot, kid."

"Tada!" Tony had taught him to say that whenever he had done something 'certifiably awesome' and he had no idea it was somewhat childish. Usually the rest of the team would beat Tony up over it and fill Thor in, but this one was unanimously declared just too adorable—or 'amusing' by the guys—to fix. Thor brandished a circlet of metal studded with gems.

"What do you think?" Thor asked after Lane was quiet for too long. He suddenly looked bashful.

"Thor…" Lane said, taking a deep breath in awe. "You made that yourself?"

"Yes. I fashioned it with Mjolnir." Thor answered proudly. "Do you believe it is a suitable token of love to bestow upon Jane?"

"Thor, that's beautiful. And I don't mean sports car beautiful or Miss America beautiful. I mean sunset and old buildings and outer space beautiful. She'll adore it."

Thor looked like a supernova stuffed into the shell of a man. He was radiant. He knew it was pointless trying to hide how much Lane's input meant to him, so he didn't. He was excited to have successfully maneuvered through another Midgardian tradition. If only he could adequately share these triumphs with Loki or even his father…

And that gave him a very shiny, great idea.

"Thank you, Lane. I appreciate your valuable regards. Please excuse me, I have business in Asgard before my evening with Jane begins."

"Okidokiloki."

"Precisely!"

Steve looked down at the gift, eyebrows drawn. He'd wrapped it himself, and it was a complete redefinition of the word 'lumpy'. That bothered him, since he aimed to complete all tasks with a borderline OCD precision and finesse. But the art of wrapping evaded him completely. As if that wasn't enough to make him hesitant about giving it to Lane, the contents themselves sealed the deal.

His brooding was cut short, however, when Thor entered the room.

"Steve! I must request your blessing!"

Natasha sat idly in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea. She had planned on being productive to keep her mind off of her...uncomfortable situation…but there was quite literally nothing to do. She'd been briefed for her next operation just yesterday evening, and she already knew her cover profile backwards and forwards. She'd cleaned, reloaded, polished, and sharpened all her weapons twice.

Bruce wandered in, face buried in a huge leatherbound book. He got a pot of coffee going before turning to address her.

"You hanging in there, Natasha?" Bruce asked mildly. For all the world, he looked and sounded unassuming, but Natasha just _knew _he was asking about Clint's absence. And it burned her. Not in an angry sort of way, but it made her ears—safely hidden beneath her scarlet waves—turn red at the tips, how even Bruce noticed her glum mood. Apparently her claim to a thousand facades was void when it came to her team.

"I'm fine." She replied evenly.

"Sure, sure." He agreed easily. "What are your plans for the rest of the day?" He hoped he didn't sound too much like the Little Engine that Couldn't.

"This." Natasha said miserably. "Why? Did you want to do something?"

"Well, I was thinking. Everyone's going to be out and about tonight, and it seems like we're the puzzle pieces that don't fit this year." He paused. "Obviously it would be entirely platonic, but would you like to go out somewhere? I think it would probably do us both good."

Natasha appraised Bruce for a moment. Even from the start, he'd never had a problem speaking his mind, but he was usually nevertheless a calculating observer.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Absolutely not." Steve said angrily. He rarely got truly agitated with Thor—usually all his heat was reserved for Tony—but this time he was well and sincerely mad.

"I must ask you to reconsider, my friend." Thor pleaded, eyes on fire with how much it meant to him.

Steve hated to let his teammate down, but he felt he'd put in more than enough to Thor's cause, given the huge conflict in his own values he'd had to overcome in the first place to support it.

"I believe it would do him a universe of good, and I can hardly ask for Natasha's assistance." Thor understood Steve's hesitance—after all, he wouldn't even consider proposing the idea to his Jane—but he couldn't help but fight for his approval. He was sure this human display would be only a positive step in Loki's rehabilitation and a minor misstep in Steve and Lane's celebration.

"I'm all into sacrifice, Thor, but I'm going to be entirely selfish on this one. No."

Lane walked into the room, eyebrows raised. "I sensed Steve's blood pressure rising. What's going on?"

"Don't." Steve said, shooting Thor a warning look. He knew half the battle was lost the minute Lane got involved.

"Oooh, do, then." Lane said happily. "Definitely do. What is it?"

Thor gave Steve an apologetic glance before addressing Lane. "After you informed me of today's courting rituals, I began to think how it would be an emotionally rewarding human experience for Loki to go through as well." Dear God, was the legendary thunderer actually _blushing_? He felt sheepish, like a small, crushable child as he waited for Lane's reaction.

"Well, I guess the guy doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of it up in Asgard these days, does he?" Lane said finally. "So why does this have Steve's star spangled panties all in a bunch?"

"Lane." Steve warned, looking disgruntled.

"As you said, it is clear Loki must experience this ritual here in Midgard. I felt that it would be wisest to introduce it to him on home territory, a controllable environment in case things go…awry. I was hoping…I was hoping you would do me the favour and honour of…" Thor shot another quick look at Steve before rushing on. "Being his first valentine."

Lane felt the colour drain from her face. She wasn't afraid of Loki in the least. She was wary of him, perturbed by him, sure. But it wasn't fear. Nevertheless, he made the term "valentine" sound spiky and unappealing. Then she saw how Thor was a drowning man waiting in the silence for her reply.

So she burst out laughing.

The sheer ridiculousness of her playing valentines with a certified super villain…

"No wonder Steve's upset." She shook her head. "You go ahead, Thor. Give us some time to talk."

Thor smiled hesitantly as he nodded and left. "Of course." He was just happy Lane hadn't initiated combat as a response, as Natasha surely would have.

"You can't be seriously considering this." Steve said as soon as Thor was out of earshot. "You really, really can't."

"Babe, where's the harm? It's a ceremonial thing, anyways."

"You don't see any harm in letting my…girlfriend…play sweethearts with someone who recently tried to take over the _world_?" Steve choked on the words, a fierce rouge rising in his cheeks when he struggle with 'girlfriend'. The word felt childish on his tongue.

"Oh, come on. Details, details. And he's never going to get better if no one gives him a chance."

"He's not going to get better because there's nothing in him to become better."

"That's harsh. And a lot of people would have said that about me before Fury found me." She raised an eyebrow. "Besides, we'll never find out if we don't try. We've got to give him the opportunity. That's what makes us the 'good guys'. And it's more for Thor than Loki, and you know it. That man has bled over his brother—literally and figuratively—to the point where it's just painful to watch."

"Thor's never going to realize he's entertaining a lost cause if you keep encouraging him."

"We're going in circles." Lane grabbed his hand and tugged against his resistance until he followed her to the side of his bed. She pushed on him until he sat then dragged a chair to the side of the bed and sat down herself. "If this is going to take until next Valentine's day, I'm not going to waste my time standing."

Eventually they came to an agreement.

Hours passed, and everyone's plans fell together.

Tony sat across from Pepper. Their knees were touching, barely, as he leaned over and unveiled what he'd prepared for her.

She smiled a half smile, genuinely impressed.

"And you swear you didn't order this?"

Tony waved his hand in her face, pointing at a thin, agitated looking mark. "Genuine battle wound. I received it from an incredibly disgruntled oven."

"Poor thing."

They ate, conversation wandering easily from business to the latest paparazzi attempts on them to Tony's exploits as an Avenger and in circles they talked, always finding something to fill the silence, some witty remark or endearing barb.

"You didn't make dessert?" Pepper asked incredulously.

Tony plucked a cherry from under his plate, put it atop his head, and grinned.

"Oh." Was all Jane could manage when she opened Thor's gift. It was beautiful. Really, really beautiful.

"Is it not worthy? Why are you crying?" Thor asked in alarm.

Jane shook her head, embarrassed. Of course she would start blubbering at a time like this.

"No, no, no. It's great. It's perfect." She threw her arms around Thor, heart doing little squeezy girly things at the way he softened, how he held her tight but made accommodations for how fragile she was as a human. The thing was, he did it in a way that let her feel strong, and when she pulled back to look at him, the raw vulnerability he displayed regarding her acceptance, she felt like maybe she was the only thing that could hurt him.

It was a scary kind of power to have.

"I regret it is not suitably elaborate for you, Jane. It does not do my feelings justice, but I only just discovered the meaning of this day this morning." Thor explained. He felt that his token was not nearly as rich and expressive as he wanted, but he promised himself he would remedy that next year.

"It says everything." Jane assured him. "And honestly, I wasn't expecting anything in the first place. It's a silly human tradition."

"I've learned the silliest ones are the ones that matter the most." Thor said seriously.

"Maybe."

"Let's lie awhile." He took her hand and together they lay in the field, looking up at a sky choked with stars. Thor knew them intimately from travel, and Jane from research. One was like an embrace and the other was more the furtive glances of an admirer, but it was still something they could share.

"Next year we will travel under the stars where we met." Thor promised.

Jane would take him up on that.

"This is ridiculous." Loki said, eyes narrowed severely.

"You're ridiculous."

Loki made a disgruntled noise. "I could erase all traces of your existence from the surface of all the worlds."

Lane glanced his way, unimpressed.

"Whatever you say, overlord of supreme moodiness." Lane said. "Anyways, you're just mad because you suck at this."

Thor had left Loki as Lane's charge, asking her to do something very traditional with him. They obviously agreed that whatever occurred would be completely platonic, as if that was even a question at all.

So Lane decided to start at square one with Loki.

And make paper hearts.

"This is a menial task beneath me. Of course it is ill suited to my capabilities."

"So you're basically agreeing that you suck." Lane smiled.

"You are an infuriating creature." Loki snarled.

"What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of this pathetically asymmetric heart." She dangled Loki's attempt in his face, smirking.

She probably shouldn't be tormenting the poor Asgardian. His ego was surely taking a beating simply by being forced into her company. But she thought all this humbling humiliation might serve him best in the long run. It had been like pulling teeth to get him to even pick up the scissors. Lane had had to question his ability to even maneuver them before he gruffly set out to prove her wrong.

Some of the looks he gave her, though, made her spine feel brittle and frostbitten.

No matter how much mellower Thor thought Loki had become since the invasion, since his first months of Thor's "Midgardian rehabilitation" project, Loki was still a very stormy, conflicted individual.

"I thought this was supposed to be a pleasant holiday." Loki sneered.

"Would you really have gone for champagne and candy hearts?" Lane asked, raising an eyebrow.

He just sat in brooding silence.

"Look, if you're nice, I'll put in a good word with your brother."

"You speak as though you sincerely believe I care what you or Thor thinks." Loki said obstinately. He was insulted at the very idea. He was even more irritated at the fact that it did matter. At least Thor's opinion did.

"You are just a martini glass of fun aren't you?" Lane checked the time. "Well. We've got a couple hours to kill."

She shook a copy of _Spirit_ in his direction.

"I hear you like horses."

"How was it?" Steve asked. He was trying to seem at ease, but even he realized the tension in his shoulders was painfully obvious.

"It was an adventure and a half." Lane frowned at Steve's frown. "Not like Adventure Island adventure. Like babysitting seven hyperactive kids while jetlagged adventure. It was fun, in a convoluted, abstract kind of way."

"He wasn't awful to you, was he?"

"Of course he was. That was to be expected, though, wasn't it? We were hardly going to start braiding each other's hair and get matching tattoos. He liked the movie I picked though." She added with a triumphant smirk. Loki had done his very best to smite all evidence of any expression on his face while they watched, but she caught his slight frown when the lead mare got hurt.

She bet he got kicked right in the emotionals.

All in all, she had a satisfying report for Thor, and she was sure they'd made at least a miniscule stepping stone of progress in Loki's humanizing.

"How…fortunate." Steve said drily.

Lane joined him on the couch, leaning against his shoulder and sighing. "Come on, Comrade. You know that while I was Loki's valentine, you were always mine." She kissed him on the cheek, then the lips. "And don't actions count more than words, anyways?"

Steve wanted to be mad. He really, really did. Not at her, really. But Loki. And definitely disgruntled with Thor. And he made a valiant effort at staying unhappy. But when it came down to it, he did know that everything that had happened was an elaborate pleasantry. He knew that what mattered was then and there.

So he gave up.

"Let's call it even for now." He said. "I've got other things on my mind, anyways."

"Ooh? Such as?"

He passed her the box, looking away as she opened it. That's why he wasn't prepared for her tackling him in an embrace. The surprise caused him to rock back an inch or two.

"This is marvelous, Steve. Seriously." She picked herself off Steve, holding the drawing up to the light so she could drink it all in.

It was a sketch of Steve and herself, re-enacting the VJ Day Kiss, all the way back from Halloween.

"You've still got it. All of it." She said. She knew Steve had struggled with his art since becoming an Avenger—since the day he signed himself over to becoming a supersoldier. She'd had her own artistic crisis after the Project was through with her. But it was evident that there were many things that can't be stripped from the soul, and this was one of them.

Steve was quietly pleased. He'd been nervous about giving Lane something so monetarily lacking, but he had trusted her to know what it meant to him. And he was glad she appreciated it fully. God knows he put his heart into it; there was a waste basket full of almost complete sketches to prove it.

"Champagne and old movies?" He asked.

Natasha fished around in her drawer. Bruce had checked in with her an hour or so ago, casually telling her that he'd figured out where he thought they should go. He gave her the courtesy of having the option to back out or decide where they went, but she waived him on. She wanted to go somewhere that would make him happy. After all, he was the captain of their little expedition in the first place.

She found the necklace she was looking for.

She hadn't wanted to dress up for their adventure, since they were going out as friends. But she wanted something meaningful in another way to mark the evening. So she wore the necklace Clint had gotten her in Budapest. Back then, it wasn't a symbol of affection or anything like that.

It was a promise.

_I don't give pretty things to women I intend to harm, _he'd said. _That would be just rude. _He'd wanted her to know she could trust him far enough to believe he wouldn't doublecross her during his transaction with SHIELD, after he'd made his call.

It hadn't worked as he intended. After all, she was trained and raised to have an inherent sense of distrust, especially when it came to pretty men and guns. But now it was a testament to the trust that had grown between them after that initial meeting.

Natasha was still lost in thought, putting on her favourite coat on autopilot, when her fingers grazed a bulge in her pocket. She frowned. She never kept things in her favourite coat except cash and trinkets. She didn't want the pockets to get ruined—a goal she'd kept for the past decade or so.

She reached in, fingers slipping over the object's smooth surface. She pulled it out, looking at it in the dim light of the closet.

It was a jewelry box.

She opened it slowly, not fully developed feelings coursing around in the pit of her stomach. She was afraid some were crystalizing into butterflies.

Inside was a single daisy, preserved in resin.

_You remember what this means ? _Was scrawled on a piece of paper in Clint's handwriting.

_Have an adventure, valentine. _

"Are you ready, Natasha?" Bruce called from outside her door.

Natasha put the case on a shelf in the closet, slipped the resin daisy into her pocket.

"Headed your way, Bruce."

She could have conquered the world.


	5. Cold Medicine

**(A/N) Sorry it's been forever and a day ! I'm recovering from a case of overbooking myself these last few months.**

**Anyhoo . Enjoy some Christmas fluff, everybody. I hope your day was absolutely brilliant ! C:**

Bruce was completely aware of the fact he looked like a sitting, brooding cliché. Staring out a frosted window, hunched pensively, twisting a candy cane wrapper absently through his fingers. He couldn't help it. He always got this way during the holidays. Wondering about how different this time of year would be without the Hulk looming inside him. Would he have been curled up by a fire with his family? Sneaking past his sleeping kids to leave presents in their stockings?

It's not like he was completely miserable or anything, though. He had the Avengers, which over the past year or so following the invasion, had become very close. Almost like a family. A crime-fighting, extraterrestrial, assassinating, bickering kind of family.

Maybe not so much different from the regular kind, after all.

And yet.

There was always that 'and yet'.

Bruce sighed. This was not the way he wanted to spend Christmas Eve. In fact, he kind of feared it.

He really was his worst enemy.

"Paging Doctor Banner." Lane said, tapping him on the shoulder. "You look like you're thinking serious thoughts. Why?"

"Nothing." He smiled wanly. "'Tis the season to be broody, you know."

"Someone borrowed their Christmas spirit from Fury. There's no way that'll end well." Lane shook her head. "Come on." She tugged on her best friend's arm.

"I don't want to move.."

"Which is exactly why you need to."

"Where are we going?" Bruce asked, resigned. He knew better than to try to convince Lane away from doing any of her cheer projects. He'd 'suffer them in silence and like it'.

"Just to the kitchen. Steve's making caffeine and we're trying to round everyone up. It's an officially unofficial shindig. You're my plus one." She smiled a halfsmile, hip checking him playfully as they walked down the corridor. "So what were you pining over this time, B ?"

"Nothing important."

Lane simply looked at him, and he switched tracks.

"Nothing I can change."

"Always the optimist." They lapsed into a thoughtful silence and ended up in the kitchen a few minutes later.

It turned out everyone was already collected in the kitchen. Steve was pouring hot chocolate into mugs and setting them up on the counter in rows. Natasha and Pepper were settled onto stools nearby, flipping through a phonebook. Tony and Thor were engaged in some kind of argument over their shoulders, each gesturing at the book.

"Look, as fond as I am of getting drunk off my ass, we are not going bar hopping on Christmas Eve, Thor."

"It is Norse tradition! I shall not insult your planet's reflection of my culture by abandoning their Juleoel."

"You can't just take a swig and be done with it?"

"That is not the way of olde, Tony."

"What's going on?" Lane asked. Bruce had retreated to one of the farther chairs, not wanting to get involved. He settled back into his less than pleasant thoughts, outside of everyone's attention for the moment. Lane, however, was eager to plunge herself into the midst of the conflict. It was generally a good pay-out in amusement to come between the two men of the group who thought they were some kind of god.

"Thor is hung up on this idea that he's obligated to fulfill some old Viking tradition of getting completely hammered during Christmas. Call me a progressive thinker, but I think that's actually _not _the best idea for our great Christmas escapade." Tony shook his head, clearly disgruntled.

"Thor, it quite actually physically pains me to say it, but I agree with Tony." Steve stepped in, placing the last of the mugs on the counter and turning to wash out the pan still dripping with chocolate.

"Yeah. There's pretty much a zero percent success rate with the drinking games you guys pitifully attempt even here." Lane said, leaning on the counter and dipping her finger into one of the mugs. It was burning. Luckily for her, the Apocalypse Project had left her fairly unmoved by pain. The temperature didn't even register really. "And that's hardly how I think we should spend the night. Our first Christmas only comes once, you know."

"How about we reserve the end of the night for all of the alcohol consumption?" Pepper suggested, flipping another page in the book. "That way it won't affect any of the other things we're thinking of doing."

"Yeah, and we won't have to deal with you all not being able to handle your liquor." Natasha added, pointing something out on the page to Pepper.

"Well don't go saying that." Lane said to Natasha, taking a sip of the hot chocolate. "Tony'll feel all obligated to prove himself."

"I take offense to that." Tony said grudgingly.

"But is it a lie?" Lane asked. There was a pause, and Tony was obviously about to fill it, but Lane cut him off. "Too slow. There you have it. So what did you come up with, Tasha, Pepper?"

"Ice skating."

"Ice cream."

"Food."

"More food."

"Walking."

"Sleigh rides."

"Alcohol."

"There's actually a whole lot of food here."

"Dancing."

"Cinema."

"I like food." Tony remarked. "I'm actually kind of a fan of it."

"Sleigh rides." Lane said thoughtfully. "I've never been on one of those."

It was soon discovered that no one had.

"I have, however, ridden in a chariot pulled by many a celestial steed in my lifetime." Thor commented. "I have reservations that your earthly creatures will make an impression upon me."

"Put it on the list." Lane said, facing Thor. "That wasn't a challenge, but I'm gonna make a point here. Earth can be just as magically delicious as Asgard, Thor."

Thor nodded solemnly. "I accept."

"Can we watch a Christmas movie when we get back?" Steve asked, dipping a candy cane into his own mug of hot chocolate. "I haven't seen one of those in forever."

"Have you even seen one off a VHS, hell, in colour?" Tony asked. "This is your first Christmas off the ice, isn't it, Uncle Sam?"

"Yes."

"Then we need to do this right."

"Does any of us even actually own any Christmas movies?" Lane asked. "I know I don't, sadly."

"Saving the world repetitively's kind of distracting." Tony conceded.

"I never thought about it…" Natasha replied. She'd never had any cause to really put stock into Christmas before, except in a wistful, begrudging kind of way. She didn't crave winter for Christmas. She loved it for ice and fire. Now she regretted her nearsightedness.

Thor didn't even bother answering.

"I have one." Tony admitted. "Muppet's Christmas. Or something like that." He blushed slightly, averting his face so that only Pepper could see. It wasn't from his childhood or anything. Maybe that made it even more embarrassing. But he wouldn't explain himself, not for anything.

"I've got a bunch, actually." Clint offered. Eyes turned on him curiously. He shrugged. "I had a childhood, you know. It wasn't stellar or anything, but it happened. They were kind of an inheritance. A bunch of the classics, a couple stupid ones to keep the kids busy."

"Me, too." Pepper said. "Rudolph and the Little Drummer Boy, a few other standard ones, and then a few cartoon specials the guys I grew up with were obsessed with."

"I have a few." Bruce confessed. He shied away from their surprise. "Childhood. Ditto." He gestured at Clint.

"It's a date, then." Lane said, smiling. "So…food, sleigh, movie?"

They set out under an hour later, leaving a fleet of empty mugs in the sink.

Natasha ended up picking a place for them to eat at, closing her eyes and pointing in the phonebook. Over dinner, they settled into Memory Lane, talking about their favourite memories from years before. It was an interesting experience, given how diverse everyone's backgrounds were. They had the modest, glossed accounts of Natasha, Clint, and Bruce, the rowdy retellings of Pepper, Lane, and Tony—whose also turned out to be surprisingly sweet—, the epic tales of Thor's upbringing involving unbelievable beasts and natural phenomena that put the Northern Lights to shame, and then there was Steve, whose words were like black and white television suddenly cast into colour.

When they all headed out to the corner that was selling sleigh rides, they were smiling brilliantly.

They ended up dividing into two carriages, both destined to let them off at the park. Pepper, Tony, Natasha, and Clint piled into one while Thor, Bruce, and Steve and Lane piled into the other. Tony had made the joke at dinner that since Jane was with her family, it looked like Bruce would have to be this date for the evening. Lane and Steve felt a pang for the both of them over that, but there was no denying how amusing they looked all squashed up next to each other in the close carriage seats.

"Loki would have loved this." Thor said wistfully as the sleigh took off, four horses at a brisk trot into the cold night sprinkled with stars and the promise of frostbite.

"I was actually kind of surprised you didn't attempt to get him a reprieve for tonight." Steve said. Despite his doubts, he sympathized with Thor's project of rehabilitating Loki, but he couldn't muster feeling truly sorry for the criminal's absence.

"Christmas is kind of a big one to miss on the human experience spectrum." Lane commented.

"I agree. Alas, Loki is not ready for something this complex and…sentimental. I would be…crushed to introduce this occasion to him and have him leave it in ruins. It is best to delay this encounter until more promising progress is made upon carving a human handhold in him." Thor lapsed into silence. It was quite demotivating for him to imagine the sneer Loki would undoubtedly turn upon the whole affair.

"It'll turn out okay, Thor." Lane reached across to pat him reassuringly on the knee. "It'll take awhile, and you've got a lot of heartbreak to look forward to, but the moment things start going just so _right, _you won't have space in your heart for regret and hanging onto the past."

A small smile perched on the corners of his lips. "I will take your word for it, Lane."

"You do that." She turned to press closer to Steve to fight the chill that was picking up.

It was incredible how far apart everyone's thoughts were during the ride. Tony was stuck thinking about his father, every Christmas they shared wrapped up in home videos and technology. Clint and Natasha were in different countries, being neglected, being tired, full of wonder and wanderlust, bittersweet nostalgia for times they couldn't explain their attraction to. Pepper was thinking into the future, while Steve was so, so far in the past. Bruce was stuck on repeat, thinking over his melancholy thoughts, painted now in his mind a few shades brighter. Tonight had solidified his feelings of belonging, but simply having someplace to fit in didn't forge away all his insecurities and wishes for people tied by blood rather than obligation.

When he got really low, he felt his friendships were a benign form of Stockholm Syndrome more than anything else. Why else would such extraordinary people commit themselves to any portion of his well being and happiness?

Lane was caught up in the freedom of the moment. She'd been well on her way to recovery after joining the Avengers and beginning to remove the layers of trauma that the Apocalypse Project had thrust upon her. Tonight she was beginning to claim back her year; these days were no longer forced into being just another date on the calendar. They had form, substance.

Thor was drifting in and out of being full of longing and wonder. He ached to share these moments with Loki and even Jane. Lane was right; Midgard had a magic about it during this season he hadn't yet fathomed. The streets, which were charming enough in their own way ordinarily, were somehow transformed by the cold and the stars and the sounds of the horses pulling the sleigh. There was a warmth in it, a resilience of the human spirit despite hardship—it was a triumph all around them.

It was spectacular.

It was like the imprint of the Dvalinn in the Asgardian skies.

They left off at the park, all of them somewhat reluctant to leave the horses behind. They had decided to walk through the park to a corner where they could hail a couple cabs to drop them off home.

"Look at this stuff." Tony said, pleased. The snow was so thick in some places, you could sink right in.

Tony, once done with being in awe, took advantage of the situation and gathered a quick snowball in his hands.

"Think fast, Bruce!"

Bruce, lucky for him, did, ducking in time for the snowball to land squarely in Thor's face. The entitled god let out a mighty roar in good jest, and a full blown snowball war began.

Once the girls got caught in the crosshairs, things got rough real fast and in a hurry for the boys.

Clint and Natasha entered into a deadly snowball dance, each trying to pin a hit on the other. Eventually they came to a draw, and Clint fell into the snow, laughing. He spread his arms and legs.

"What are you doing?" Natasha asked quizzically. She cocked her head to the side, trying to make sense out of the disrupted snow.

"Are you kidding?" Clint asked, amazed. "I'm making a snow angel. Please tell me you've heard of that."

"Oh." She blushed. "I. Uh. Always thought it was like a snowman, but, you know, an angel."

Clint shook his head. "This is just fifty shades of sad. Come on." He patted the ground beside him.

"I don't want to get snow in my hair." Natasha bit her lip. She knew he'd see through her bluff. Maybe he wouldn't fully know what he saw under it, though. She was scared she'd make a complete fool out of herself. This was entirely outside of her area of expertise. She'd probably be better at assassinating a snow angel than making one.

But he clearly wasn't taking no for an answer, as he pulled her down beside him. And though her heart beat faster than it should have, she followed through. She felt silly, but inexplicably thrilled. It wasn't like the thrill of landing a target or hand to hand combat. It was something innocent, spontaneous. Clint's fingertips brushed hers, and they shared a moment of mutual coldness.

Perfect.

"Looks like they've got the right idea." Lane nudged Bruce and Steve.

No one left the park without snow melting into their hair and clothes.

When they got back to the Tower, they all changed into pajamas, then met back in the living space to put in the movie. After a few rounds of rock-paper-scissors and some Asgardian deciding games of questionable origin, they ended up just letting Steve decide since it was his first modern Christmas. He picked kind of a throwback in _White Christmas_. The USO-style show brought back memories of his first appearances as Captain America, which were less heroic and more along the lines of an unappreciated poster child.

He loved the movie.

They stayed up, drinking Christmas liquor and egg nog—though thankfully no one got more than a buzz—and watching first a few more classics, then a few contemporary movies. They fell asleep in a nest of blankets, laying and leaning on each other. It was a testament to how close they'd become in such a short time. In their line of work, they had to cling to whatever comforts they could. It was lucky that the team had that in each other.

The Grinch cut roast beest as the clock struck midnight.

"Merry Christmas." Bruce whispered. It echoed around the group, passing from lips and onto lips in the space lit only with thin strings of Christmas lights.

Bruce was the last to fall asleep, avidly staying with the film until its end. He took one last look around his patchwork family before closing his eyes and sinking into the couch with happy exhaustion.

This was exactly how he had wanted to spend Christmas Eve.


End file.
